This weekend was yet another boring romp around the house desperately looking for ways to fill my boredom. Right behind me was my wife busy picking up the lost brain matter exploding out of my ears.
As I paced back and forth in front of my TV I would occasionaly glance over at my computer chair and wonder what exciting things could happen on WOW that day. Eventually I gave in to the urge to log on hopeing that my mind will be whisked away into some happiness beyond the screen. To my surprise I just sat down, stared blanky at the keyboard...then to the screen...then to the wall... and finally landed my gaze on a local houseplant who mockingly sat there and did nothing. My wife sat down in her computer chair beside me and stared in my general direction awaiting orders to do something exciting somewhere and somehow. Those orders never came...the plant just stared at me.
Both of us were dissapointed with our lack of dedication to our toons that day...why the heck do we even play this game anymore? Where is the fun spam dieing to 10 in every BG? Do we have the time to run a 4 hour raid?. We both did not have any answers to any questions on any subject for any reason that day...our brains were too tired to even bother to figure shit out.
I got up and went and sat on our couch...ofcourse the wife was right behind me...I turned to her and said "I don't really feel like playing today...or ever maybe...I dunno..whatever"
After much contemplation I came up with the answer we all know to be true...WOW used to be a good waste of time. The game provided a way of visiting other worlds in our brains and provided hours of useless entertainment to help us all deal with real life. Thats essentially the reason why we all play video games, watch movies, drink...the list goes on. We like the flashy colors that fill our senses, the sound of an Ambush that just crit, the interaction with our online friends, the hopes to gain yet another piece of useless armor...the prospect of not being alone...to be a part of something...to feel wanted and needed and liked...and to feel numb from vodka. (Technically your not an alcoholic if you drink and play online games...your not really alone...your drinking with other peeps that feel the same way...shhhh tell no one this secret!)
Is this really WOW's fault?
It is no longer about what team you play for at school, what match you won in your last soccer game, what sponsor your team got, what field your going to play in, what articles are going to be written about you...in this day and age it is all about exersizing your virtual toon to be uber while slowly becoming virtually Shamoo. (Can you believe there is an indent of where my ass cheeks spread on the leather chair I sit on? Like there is a freakin crevice right down the middle...stupid cheeto's...sooo cheesy and yummy...I hate you all...)
We now feel part of a virtual team where you can be and do anything you like with out any effort at all. We have gained the feeling of being a team player, being needed, wanted, liked, hated, AND articles are written about us...Leroy Jenkins? need I say more?
The wife and I have certainly visited many other worlds in our heads but we still keep comming back to WOW. I suppose it is the need to be uber one day...the need to find that rare dagger that just explodes the shit head your attacking into a gazzillion pieces, the resil of 3k so that a fireball just tickles your balls and maybe sets your pubes on fire...the feeling of being feared by those who stand next to you.
In short...we satisfy our every basic human need by playing games and specifically WOW so that we don't have to do it in real life. Just like the movie Avatar...we all wished we could find another world to live in with sexsee blue skinned woman, the ability to fly on one ugly dinosaur looking thing and Sigourney Weaver's boob job to stare at. Does WOW give me those things? well...yes it does!
So why did we not log on again? I think maybe I am just too tired of 12 year old kids handing me my ass in BG's, tired of 4 hour Raids where someone bitches about someone else's nerd rage, bored of someone grabbing that node before you cause they got some epic flying fighter jet/rocket/drake looking thing that goes Mach 4...tired of taking ages to level up a profession only for blizz to completely make it useless (Inscription..nice job blizz..you better fix that shit)...
(Haha my wife just mentioned that I could use her for a mount and ride her around...ofcourse I told her that I could farm her nodes later if she was a good girl...and I might even use a pick axe..)
I find that I am now preoccupied with finding ways to forget about the life I have and try to emerse myself in the life that I want to have...not sure that WOW is it...but for now...I have already gotten up out of the couch and am spam dieing in BG's again...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Family PVP
Last night was divorce number 99 for the wife and I. Yet again we got into a fight about WOW...but not about what you may think. I know your thinking to yourself that this is another classic example of how one person in a marriage ignores the other for a silly video game. Sometimes I wish that were true. No..our fight was about something more silly than that...she got ganked and I wasd not around to save her.
Let me back up the story a bit. I got my wife involved with WOW just a little after we celebrated our 1 year dateing aniversary. She always knew that I played WOW...she even knew what classes I was playing. One day she turns to me and says "Log onto the game.I am curious about it" Well needless to say I got myself all excited about the prospect of having a gamer in the house that I could teach and mold and guide and someone to drink and mash the keyboard with. So exactly what was I thinking?...hmmm nope, wasn't with mr willy...he was probably too knocked out from the whiskey when I said "Sure honey...lets get you started".
So the wife and I have been playing WOW together for 2 years now and for the most part it is not very fun at all. I get in shit for not leveling with her, letting her die in PVP, letting her die to a mob, not telling her which equipment is better, not helping her with quests, not logging on when she wants to play and I wanna sleep, I didn't build her computer well enough to stop any lag...the list goes on!
Anyone else have this issue? WOW PVP turns into Wife agro and PVP? I mean we have some real big fights about stupid crap in the game. Gone are the days when I could log on and talk with whom ever I wanted, join what ever guild I wanted, did what I wanted...hell I could even strip my nightelf down naked and no one would know what a perv I was being...but not now! I get home from work and there she is...yelling and screaming at the game and complaining about how she is getting ganked and for me to log on and help her.
Combine this with the fact that she is Irish, Scorpio and is a red head that loves to fight and drink booze...I am a freakin walking timebomb. So is it worth it having your spouse play along side of you? my answer is YES...why?...because you aint married to my wife you lucky mofo. I am sure there are many couples out there with the same issues and I am sure we will all say the same thing...never let WOW run your life.
I find myself still in the dog house for words exchanged in last nights rage. She tried to do the whole "Well your not gettin any tonight...stay on the couch" ofcourse I could not keep my mouth shut..."Couch is fine by me and I am getting plenty of something I should have had all along...PEACE AND QUIET"...meh...not my best comeback but still affective enough for me to get a comfy place to sleep with out the buzzing in my ear.
I pray she never reads this...
Moral of the story is...do everything with your spouse...but know your limits.
Now someone take me for a walk damnit!
Let me back up the story a bit. I got my wife involved with WOW just a little after we celebrated our 1 year dateing aniversary. She always knew that I played WOW...she even knew what classes I was playing. One day she turns to me and says "Log onto the game.I am curious about it" Well needless to say I got myself all excited about the prospect of having a gamer in the house that I could teach and mold and guide and someone to drink and mash the keyboard with. So exactly what was I thinking?...hmmm nope, wasn't with mr willy...he was probably too knocked out from the whiskey when I said "Sure honey...lets get you started".
So the wife and I have been playing WOW together for 2 years now and for the most part it is not very fun at all. I get in shit for not leveling with her, letting her die in PVP, letting her die to a mob, not telling her which equipment is better, not helping her with quests, not logging on when she wants to play and I wanna sleep, I didn't build her computer well enough to stop any lag...the list goes on!
Anyone else have this issue? WOW PVP turns into Wife agro and PVP? I mean we have some real big fights about stupid crap in the game. Gone are the days when I could log on and talk with whom ever I wanted, join what ever guild I wanted, did what I wanted...hell I could even strip my nightelf down naked and no one would know what a perv I was being...but not now! I get home from work and there she is...yelling and screaming at the game and complaining about how she is getting ganked and for me to log on and help her.
Combine this with the fact that she is Irish, Scorpio and is a red head that loves to fight and drink booze...I am a freakin walking timebomb. So is it worth it having your spouse play along side of you? my answer is YES...why?...because you aint married to my wife you lucky mofo. I am sure there are many couples out there with the same issues and I am sure we will all say the same thing...never let WOW run your life.
I find myself still in the dog house for words exchanged in last nights rage. She tried to do the whole "Well your not gettin any tonight...stay on the couch" ofcourse I could not keep my mouth shut..."Couch is fine by me and I am getting plenty of something I should have had all along...PEACE AND QUIET"...meh...not my best comeback but still affective enough for me to get a comfy place to sleep with out the buzzing in my ear.
I pray she never reads this...
Moral of the story is...do everything with your spouse...but know your limits.
Now someone take me for a walk damnit!
Monday, January 17, 2011
South Shore Tug-O-War
Does anyone else miss the good ol' days back when PVP was nothing less then zerging a small town in hopes that enough level 60's show up?...and yes I said 60's. I remember spending hours fighting on the grass between Southshore and Tarren Mill...and these fights were 10vs10 or even 15vs15. We called it the "South Shore Tug-O-War" simply because we could run away to our respective towns in case we got over run, heal, spell up and go right back at it again. This was what PVP was really meant for. My mage still has the "Knight-Captain" tittle from doing all the PVP killin way back in Vanilla. There were no BG's, no afk exper's, no 20min wait times...PVP was fun and you earned every HK you got...and yes I said HK. (back in the day HK stood for Honor Kills) You actually felt respected when sporting your PVP tittle. Even when they introduced some BG's it was still respected to have a PVP tittle, PVP gear AND the Frostwolf mount from AV...my mage was the shit...and I still get asked where I got my tittle from to this day...so where is the problem you ask? I will tell you where the freakin problem is!
Now all you do is cue up for a random BG, you get teleported (teleported? WTF? back in the day you had to run your ass to a portal to cue for BG's) into the BG, you all buff up, you run to your objective and then WHAP...your one shotted by some snot nosed Paladin with a big freakin sword, full PVP gear and sporting a nice shinny bubble...your kidding right? One shotted? So now your BG consists of you rezing and spam dieing until you decide to remain AFK for the rest of the BG or keep giving out HP (BTW HP stands for Hit Points AND Honor Points...nice job Blizz) to the OP Paladin...but if you cue up enough times you will eventually get your first piece of gear. Brilliant!...you wonder why peeps go afk and sport full gear? it is because they cue up and sit pretty in the AV towers until they cap then they run to our Keep and sit in the throne room until shit goes down...so AFKers are rewarded with PVP gear and levels? and don't even get me started on the whole "report AFK" fuck you button...it is messed up to say the least...maybe thats why in any given BG you will see someone type "Report xxxxx AFK"..do it yourself donkey nuts..oh wait...Blizz wants to make sure you don't keep doing it for no reason...so there is a penalty for it?
Sigh...anyone wanna meet up with me at Southshore and duel for old times sake?
Lastly I think I should mention the other epic battle that used to happen...remember X-Roads? that little shit hole in the Barrens with the entertaining 12 year old trade chat? yes i said trade chat...that channel used to be global...I remember having someone call for help over trade chat and mention that X-Roads was getting zerged...haveing 10 of us level 60's land only to meet up with 15 of them...oh the horror..oh the skeletons..oh the freakin alcohol nerd rage fun that happened...Saturday night, rum and coke, music on the TV, room mate out with his GF ( people have lives apparently outside of WOW...who knew?) sitting in my comfy Ikea chair, golden retriever at my feet and some face melters corpse under my mages housecoat...the only thing I had to worry about was what time Dial-a-Bottle stoped deliverying alcohol.
This shit is gonna get worse...next post should be fun.
Cheers
Now all you do is cue up for a random BG, you get teleported (teleported? WTF? back in the day you had to run your ass to a portal to cue for BG's) into the BG, you all buff up, you run to your objective and then WHAP...your one shotted by some snot nosed Paladin with a big freakin sword, full PVP gear and sporting a nice shinny bubble...your kidding right? One shotted? So now your BG consists of you rezing and spam dieing until you decide to remain AFK for the rest of the BG or keep giving out HP (BTW HP stands for Hit Points AND Honor Points...nice job Blizz) to the OP Paladin...but if you cue up enough times you will eventually get your first piece of gear. Brilliant!...you wonder why peeps go afk and sport full gear? it is because they cue up and sit pretty in the AV towers until they cap then they run to our Keep and sit in the throne room until shit goes down...so AFKers are rewarded with PVP gear and levels? and don't even get me started on the whole "report AFK" fuck you button...it is messed up to say the least...maybe thats why in any given BG you will see someone type "Report xxxxx AFK"..do it yourself donkey nuts..oh wait...Blizz wants to make sure you don't keep doing it for no reason...so there is a penalty for it?
Sigh...anyone wanna meet up with me at Southshore and duel for old times sake?
Lastly I think I should mention the other epic battle that used to happen...remember X-Roads? that little shit hole in the Barrens with the entertaining 12 year old trade chat? yes i said trade chat...that channel used to be global...I remember having someone call for help over trade chat and mention that X-Roads was getting zerged...haveing 10 of us level 60's land only to meet up with 15 of them...oh the horror..oh the skeletons..oh the freakin alcohol nerd rage fun that happened...Saturday night, rum and coke, music on the TV, room mate out with his GF ( people have lives apparently outside of WOW...who knew?) sitting in my comfy Ikea chair, golden retriever at my feet and some face melters corpse under my mages housecoat...the only thing I had to worry about was what time Dial-a-Bottle stoped deliverying alcohol.
This shit is gonna get worse...next post should be fun.
Cheers
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