Other Worlds

This weekend was yet another boring romp around the house desperately looking for ways to fill my boredom. Right behind me was my wife busy picking up the lost brain matter exploding out of my ears.

As I paced back and forth in front of my TV I would occasionaly glance over at my computer chair and wonder what exciting things could happen on WOW that day. Eventually I gave in to the urge to log on hopeing  that my mind will be whisked away into some happiness beyond the screen. To my surprise I just sat down, stared blanky at the keyboard...then to the screen...then to the wall... and finally landed my gaze on a local houseplant who mockingly sat there and did nothing. My wife sat down in her computer chair beside me and stared in my general direction awaiting orders to do something exciting somewhere and somehow. Those orders never came...the plant just stared at me.

Both of us were dissapointed with our lack of dedication to our toons that day...why the heck do we even play this game anymore? Where is the fun spam dieing to 10 in every BG? Do we have the time to run a 4 hour raid?. We both did not have any answers to any questions on any subject for any reason that day...our brains were too tired to even bother to figure shit out.

I got up and went and sat on our couch...ofcourse the wife was right behind me...I turned to her and said "I don't really feel like playing today...or ever maybe...I dunno..whatever"

After much contemplation I came up with the answer we all know to be true...WOW used to be a good waste of time. The game provided a way of visiting other worlds in our brains and provided hours of useless entertainment to help us all deal with real life. Thats essentially the reason why we all play video games, watch movies, drink...the list goes on. We like the flashy colors that fill our senses, the sound of an Ambush that just crit, the interaction with our online friends, the hopes to gain yet another piece of useless armor...the prospect of not being alone...to be a part of something...to feel wanted and needed and liked...and to feel numb from vodka. (Technically your not an alcoholic if you drink and play online games...your not really alone...your drinking with other peeps that feel the same way...shhhh tell no one this secret!)

Is this really WOW's fault?

It is no longer about what team you play for at school, what match you won in your last soccer game, what sponsor your team got, what field your going to play in, what articles are going to be written about you...in this day and age it is all about exersizing your virtual toon to be uber while slowly becoming virtually Shamoo. (Can you believe there is an indent of where my ass cheeks spread on the leather chair I sit on? Like there is a freakin crevice right down the middle...stupid cheeto's...sooo cheesy and yummy...I hate you all...)

We now feel part of a virtual team where you can be and do anything you like with out any effort at all. We have gained the feeling of being a team player, being needed, wanted, liked, hated, AND articles are written about us...Leroy Jenkins? need I say more?

The wife and I have certainly visited many other worlds in our heads but we still keep comming back to WOW. I suppose it is the need to be uber one day...the need to find that rare dagger that just explodes the shit head your attacking into a gazzillion pieces, the resil of 3k so that a fireball just tickles your balls and maybe sets your pubes on fire...the feeling of being feared by those who stand next to you.

In short...we satisfy our every basic human need by playing games and specifically WOW so that we don't have to do it in real life. Just like the movie Avatar...we all wished we could find another world to live in with sexsee blue skinned woman, the ability to fly on one ugly dinosaur looking thing and Sigourney Weaver's boob job to stare at. Does WOW give me those things? well...yes it does!

So why did we not log on again? I think maybe I am just too tired of 12 year old kids handing me my ass in BG's, tired of 4 hour Raids where someone bitches about someone else's nerd rage, bored of someone grabbing that node before you cause they got some epic flying fighter jet/rocket/drake looking thing that goes Mach 4...tired of taking ages to level up a profession only for blizz to completely make it useless (Inscription..nice job blizz..you better fix that shit)...

(Haha my wife just mentioned that I could use her for a mount and ride her around...ofcourse I told her that I could farm her nodes later if she was a good girl...and I might even use a pick axe..)

I find that I am now preoccupied with finding ways to forget about the life I have and try to emerse myself in the life that I want to have...not sure that WOW is it...but for now...I have already gotten up out of the couch and am spam dieing in BG's again...